`Thank you… I love you…` are the last words I she said to me today. I am afraid that these would be her last.
My heart is broken as I anticipate losing my Grantie Nene to breast cancer. She is not a Muslim and she is now in her deathbed. Her extremities are cold and stiff; she could barely talk and is seldom awake. She will be leaving us anytime, so I feel so much pressure to introduce Islam to her. I literally feel weight on my shoulders as I think about this. I badly wish for her to become Muslim and have a chance to go to Jannah. InshaAllah.
By Allah`s grace, today, I had extra courage to pray Isha with her, said duas next to her, made tasbeeh using her hand as guide, read the Quran to her, and left with her my Quran. Alhamdulillah. I was able to do all that in front of my siblings and relatives who are still at a shock that I have become Muslim. I am sure they have been wondering talking among themselves why I spend so much time at her bedside. I did not bother to tell them what exactly I was doing with Grantie. They will not understand its importance. Grantie and everybody else think she is ready to go.
I hope to go back to the hospital in a few hours and spend some time with her. InshaAllah. I pray that Allah gives me a little more time with her.
I am still trying to make sense what Allah wants me to learn or gain from this… probably greater sabr (patience), shukr (gratefulness), qudamah (courage), and quwwah (strength).