Alhamdulillah (Praise to God)! I have reverted to Islam. It has brought peace and hope in every aspect of my life.
I have never been this happy and at peace.
I was born a Catholic. I was practicing and was actively serving at church. I would pray and even attend mass service as often as I could. But there were points in my life when I got so confused who to pray to. When I asked the elders, priests, and nuns about things that I do not understand like the mysteries, sacraments, the Trinity, they kept on saying that I have weak faith… that I should have strong faith first then I will understand. I’m 32 now, and I still do not understand.
In Islam, I used my reason to understand it then I found faith and have established a direct relationship with God.
We don’t usually see the more important things in life until after God has taken everything away from us. I have experienced this 3 times. I had enjoyed a bad secular life. Then I had lost what little I had to begin with. This proves how great is the power of God over His creation. It is true that no matter how powerful a man or woman believes he or she has become, God can humble him/her at any moment.
I used to be ignorant. I was made to believe that it`s all right that I pray to others to get through God. I made other secular things the priority in my life, over God, my parents, my daughter, and the rest of my family. I partied hard and used to commit sexual acts and here and there without even thinking. I used to eat or drink what is unhealthy. I used to have no trust around me. I unconsciously used to belittle, beat, humiliate the weak in our community. I witnessed prominent people in my faith do the same and didn’t do anything about it. Until God sent the Prophet Mohammed in my life (peace be upon him), and I learned about his life and his truthfulness. There are many thing that happened in his life that I could completely relate to. This gave me some comfort when I was rebuilding myself from ground up. I wanted to be like Muhammad, Jesus, and Mary (peace be upon them). I wanted to be pleasing to God.
Muhammad, just as Jesus and the other prophets (peace be upon them), ordered us to worship none but God and to worship no one and nothing else. He ordered us to be truthful in everything that we say; to connect our ties of kinship with our families; to love, respect, and show the most charity to our parents; not to take money from the orphaned and the weak among the community; to make sure we have absolute respect to our neighbors and to the ones around us; and to respect our bodies and to live with dignity. He also ordered us to pray to and worship none but God, and not to associate anyone to God. And he ordered us to pray to God at least 5 times a day, to fast, and to pay the obligatory charity.
A friend told me that knowledge is power and the more Islamic knowledge I have the closer to God I become, and the more I will understand the underlying meanings and wisdoms of the religion God has chosen for me. I have done a lot of reading and video watching. I have watched lectures of Tariq Ramadan, Hamza Yusuf, Yasmin Mogahed, and others. But it is actually a long interview of Mohammad Asad and the life story of the prophet Mohammed, that struck me the most and made me really want to convert.
Islam is a way of life. I am only at the beginning of the journey and have so much more to learn. Insha’ala (God willing.) The best things that I have learned is that Islam is about having good manners. I have mentioned this to some people and have written a reflection about this. “To God, the best persons, the most beloved, the closest to Him, are not the ones who pray to Him the most but the ones with the best character, the best manners.”
I love Jesus and Mary even more now. (In fact, when I am ready, I hope to have the name Maryam which in English is Mary.) Maryam (Mary) is a strong independent single mother in a society dominated by men. God favors her and has given her so much blessings. She was given a child who is one of the greatest men ever lived on Earth. I look up to Jesus and Mary. I think have become a better Christian by practicing Islam.
I am only human, I cannot be perfect. I still make some mistakes and will be making mistakes, but I have been striving real hard to keep to what is good, what Allah wants for me. All I want, more than anything else in this world is to please my Creator and to go to Jannah (heaven/paradise).
P.S. I did not revert because of a man. I made this choice for myself. I hope you will be happy for me. I have been very happy.